Today was delectably interesting. After 4 hours of sleep, I dropped off my friend Larissa at the bus stop so she could catch  the 8AM bus. I had to be back at Trinity at 8:45, s so I settled down in the parking lot to read my Spanish book until it was time to meet the rest of the folks. 

We all met together, and drove off in Blair's car. In total, 5 of us went. Not nearly as many people as who regularly  attend Zion.  We arrived safe and sound, since Blair is an amazing driver. Safety first, right? ;)

We met the "elders" at the church and we proceeded to sit down in a row in the middle of the congregation. There weren't a lot of people there, but it wasn't completly empty either.

The way the service works is a lot different than the Christian churchs (even though these, themselves have great variety). At first I was curious about how everything worked  and how it was different. As time passed, however, I began to feel very ill. I had asuch a nervous energy within me and I lost the ability to concentrate and I became overwhelmed with a variety of emotions. Fear, dread, worry, and deep sorrow all mingled inside of me. I was extremely upset that they are so close to the truth, but they can't see it. They have a veil over their eyes, a darkness from which they cannot hide. My mind became foggy and I wanted to scream for their souls, save them from the emptiness that I'm sure tears them apart although they would never admit it. What kind of God do they serve? He is not mine. And so my soul weeped and I felt ill and it took everything inside of me to keep me from walking out. Out of respect for them, I stayed. For my own dignity, I stayed. However I do not think my soul was at all pleased with this decision.

Needless to say, I was delighted and fully relieved to leave the chapel. The negative energy didn't leave me and I couldn't stop moving. My body was trying to console me by doing odd things. If I stopped one activity, another would start up. I felt as though a look of terrible fear was across my face and I was horribly embarassed to appear that way. But then again, their church is wrong, and if in being wrong, I feel terrified and sick, perhaps they should know, so that they can leave the lies behind. I know it's not a good way to go about doing it, but I have to be true to myself and not try and please everyone all the time. If they want to know why I am acting a certain way, then they can ask and I will tell them.

But when we left, my joy-filled spirit started to come back and I feasted and danced all the way home in my own car.